Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Thank you for not boning my boss.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
