If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
