Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize