If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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