Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
