At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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