You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My Higher Power is John Stamos
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
