i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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