he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
