And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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