"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
