Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize