Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
