Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
