Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My ass is underappreciated
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
