I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
