Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Enjoy the penises
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
