So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Farmville is her only friend.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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