the new term for farting is butt boxing.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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