He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
