i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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