..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize