I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
