i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
bring money and cleavage
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
