that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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