Need sex. Gaining weight.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
