You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
