She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
