You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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