Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize