Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
