so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
