Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
