what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Farmville is her only friend.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just had sex on a roof
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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