WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
