im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
