playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize