hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Randomize
