I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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