apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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