from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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