By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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