So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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