I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
