My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize