He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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