Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
