so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
