just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
