What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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