Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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