it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize