I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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