Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
