This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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