so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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