I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
