I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
