tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
