I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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