Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize