Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
