Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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