i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
