Your mouth is God's brothel.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Damn victory sex feels great
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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