he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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