this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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