Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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