I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
