guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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