dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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