the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
