He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
i need some magic done to my vagina
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
