i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
