He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
