I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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